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An Identity Conflict Situation

I was dating a guy that delivered chips at the store where I was employed at, but it was only a short period of time due the fact we had several misunderstandings from the beginning. We always worked it out somehow with the right communication, and it always turned out positive one example would be he dried to call me to set up a time to go out for dinner, but I never called him back. He was very upset with me because of that, and when I got of work one day I seen him; he seemed hurt, and he said I was looking forward to have a valentine dinner with you, but you never called back. I did explain to him the reason for not calling him back. I was sick in bed, and so we agreed to a different date and time to go out to dinner.

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Then there was a co-worker of mine were act good as my friend, but had an ugly side of her that no one even known about it. She wanted to get involved with him to the chips guy, and she wanted to shove me out of the way any way it was humanly possible. The fight was on. Therefore, she turned half my co-workers against me including management. I have been telling him what she was doing, but he did not believe me, and it seemed to me, as he was more on her side than mine. The Chips guy and I broke up after he got from me what he wanted, and he did want to meet up with me to talk, but I refused. I was to hurt, and  my co-worker has been watching me like a hawk. She also likes to play mind games example, when he dry’s to get close to me she is driving by my house with an friend or just drives by were ever I am driving too, and gives me an dirty look, and he stops getting closer. Then after several years went by she still is drying to shove me out of the way example she calls the police on me that I am doing drugs, but I have never been interested in any drugs exept the drugs the doctor described me. I cannot prove that it is her who is calling the police, but I just know her way’s. She has been drying to lie to so many people about me, but some day it will come all back to her in a tenfold.

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I believe sense there was a communication problem from the beginning I should of known a bad outcome, due the fact also that he lied about himself, and his thru profession.

It has been years that I have been ignoring him. If he told me the truth about himself from the beginning, and he would have believed me about my co-worker, I would off taken the time and effort to communicate with him in a better way. It has been taken me a long time to finally get over him, and I never really found a solution for it. Having a steamy sex live will wear off somehow after a certain amount of time. Therefore, if you cannot openly communicate in any relationship the relationship will not last.

My recommendation to anyone, which indicates how to apply, and would apply the five problem solving stages. When you dry to discuss something, it should not be a victory, but a progress.

The first part would be do not let anyone block or stop you for anything in a relationship.

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Then we come to examine the possibility of a solution, if you have no issue on communicating than you can talk and always work it out for the possible solution.

If I worked it out, than I should dry test it out, and see how it goes. You can evaluate the solution by accept the solution as it turns out to be or reject it and walk away.

So many times, I have been wondering if I should have gone to talk to him, but I thought it was over and there was no hope so I accept the fact that it was over, and walked away. The positive conflict was that I walked away from this painful situation, and moved on to better myself. I have been low income for quite some time now, but the positive side is even though I struggled so bad financially and emotionally, that I am going to college now in hope that the education will help me to get a great job.

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